Identity

WARNING:  THIS BLOG POST WAXES PHILOSOPHICAL WITH LITTLE SARCASM.  I DON'T KNOW WHAT HAS GOTTEN INTO ME.  I PROMISE I WILL RETURN WITH POOP STORIES AND CUTE WESLEY PICTURES SOON!

Sometimes, I stew about things for awhile and then I decide to write about them.  A little background information:  one morning a week I attend a great group that ministers to mostly stay-at-home moms with young children.  It has always been a group that I enjoyed, a lot of times simply because it gets me thinking.  (Which is good for me, albeit a bit dangerous).  The second thing going on this week:  one of my mom's good friends lost her 17-year old son in a car accident.  Tragedy always gets one thinking, eh?  Anyway, in our group a question something like this was posed:  How did you identify yourself before you were a mom? 

And sadly, my mind drew a complete blank.  Probably somewhat because having four children has done a number on my brain cells, but I think it goes deeper than that.  I started thinking big:  "Who am I without my family?"  I mean, obviously, I am a gifted writer (tongue-in-cheek people, tongue-in-cheek) but I use those talents to write about my four wonderful children and our everyday adventures.  What did I like to do before I had kids?  Going even farther back, what did I do before I met Matt?  Think about it, if you dare.  It's hard.  Which leads my heart to break even more for a mom who has recently lost her child, or anyone who has lost a child ever. 

Identity is a big thing.  It's important.  And I'm in a constant struggle to find mine.  Here's the thing:  I love my life.  I love my kids.  I love my husband.  I love my friends.  But do you ever wonder who you are when those things are taken away from you?  But, then something clicked for me (also wisdom from this group people, you should come!).  Here is who I am:  Unique.  Loved.  Forgiven.  Royal.  Eternal.  And totally and completely out of my comfort zone when writing about my faith.  But there it is.