I'm Going to Cut Out Your Eyeballs and Other Cute Things Kids Say

So, I wanted to make this blog post about Maddie, since she recently turned six, but let's face it:  She's a people pleaser like her momma and doesn't really do much that gets my creative juices going.  She had a great birthday (I maybe only slightly influenced her decisions on what we should do that day - c'mon, I have the scar, I should get the goods).  We took her friend Lexi, and her mom (who happens to be my friend) out and went for some Mexican, some ear piercing, some nail painting and some movie watching.  All things every girl enjoys!  Unfortunately, some of the boys in the house (namely Zach) were unhappy with the fact that they were not invited on this girls day.  Although he insisted that he loves getting his nails painted (which is true), I told him that this day was just for Maddie so he would have to wait for his birthday.  In a flash of parenting genius (I don't have these very often, so they are memorable) I decided to distract him by asking him what he would like to do for his birthday.  He didn't take the bait.  He started with "Well, I'm not inviting Maddie and Lexi, that's for sure".  I said, it's okay, you can invite whoever you want.  What would you like to do?  He thought for a moment and said "I'm going to cut out everyone's eyeballs and go swimming in them."  Huh.  My parenting genius was failing me at this moment, so I just said, Okaaayyy.  He followed up with "What do you think is behind eyeballs?  Goo?  Stomach?" A recent Walking Dead episode popped into my head, so I answered "Goo, definitely goo."  He says, "Yeah, we could go swimming in that."  While I started to worry about raising a cross-dressing* sociopath (*see "I'm a Grill" entry), I decided I should probably redirect this little fantasy that Zach was having.  So I asked him, well, if that doesn't work out, what ELSE would you like to do for your birthday?  He thought for a moment and as I braced myself for more off-the-wall ideas involving decapitated body parts, he said "Or, we could make puppets.   Yeah puppets."